I find it amusing to sit back and think about my life. I look back on my day and i realize that i live 4 completly diffrent lives. Its amazing. Now some of these lifes i have lies that hold them up and allow me to be a completly diffrent person; however, its still me. So upon realizing that i have at least 4 diffrent personalities i cant figure out why i can grasp at one of these personalities when i need it in a diffrent group. For example, with a good friend of mine i can open up and be my true self, flatter her without any embarassment or anything, but at the same time in any other situation i cant. At my work im the confident (aubrey would say cocky) lifeguard who all the girls at work love, what it is about that atmosphere i dont know but when i need that extreme set of confidence in lets say dance... it doesnt come.
Types
1.So with the person who knows me the most i cant feel embarassment and i can be whoever i want with her.
2.With work i am confident, and a chick magnet (i know hard to believe right)
3.With my circle of friends at falcon im andrew, caring, a little imature at times, and most probobly a bit annoying. lol but still tries to be a good caring friend.
4.And last is my dance personality... its mixed in with my circle of friends personality but at the same time im unconfident, although for some reason even with that constant unconfidence its... relaxing, relieving. Its like im stepping outside my comfort zone each day to better myself.
The mood im in right now or my personality right now is probobly my true personality... that would be type 1. And with strangers im type 1 as well, i can be who i want to be with any stranger becasue they dont know me and its a fresh slate.
Continuing on with my random stream of thought. (im just writing what comes to mind.) How can i better myself as a person, i try to be caring but for some reason i have only found one person who i can be myself around and they like it. Every one else... i suppose doesnt find it as.... comfortable. One of my favorite pasttimes is arguing, i argue just about everything, because its a conversation starter and the conversations that last the longest are arguments. Im not talking about get angry arguments, im talking about.... discussions. Fun arguments. So far only 1 person has the same passion as i in that area. All my other friends hate it when i do that, which leads to few meaningful conversations and well alot of akward time.
Either i find a good topic or common ground between me and a friend and talk about that for a little while untill the subject gets old and they move on into something that i just cant keep up with and i pull back to the common ground or the conversation ends. Or the second scenario is that i get into a conversation with someone who likes to talk alot. In which case i just feel like im nodding or saying yeah half the time. Its very rare that i find someone who can keep a conversation flowing for hours. Ive found 3 to 4 people like that in my whole life. One is Amy, we can argue about anything, and at the same time talk about most things. Two was unfortunatly and regretably chelsea lowe. I hate to admit it but i could talk with that girl for hours over anything, i dont know how and i wish i could go back and figure out how it was possible. I loath that horrible girl but she could keep a conversation flowing. Third is Sarah who had the same talent as the previous one although it was diffrent. she asked alot of questions or i did and our conversations sprung from those side conversations or just random comments. last would be aubrey, although she has become.... distant latley, i cant keep a conversation up like we did 10-11 months ago. so the 4th spot would go to gregg.
So lets see im ranted on about my personality changes, as well as ways that i can talk and who i talk to. I suppose ive vented enough for one night.... maybe not. lol one more thing has been on my mind latley.
Its the topic of females... period, the way they dress, the way they act, they way they think of themselves and contradict themselves. Just everything ive noticed latley. First lets start with why they constantly compare themselves to the models on tv.
Girls and comparing themselves to models on tv, the models on tv can be perfect(can be becasue some of them are just plain ugly, some are amazingly too perfect to be real) Now that being said guys ARE a big instigater on a girls self esteem, but at the same time its not our fault. Advertising companies have spent millions of dollors finding out what a guy wants and what girls want to be. A model is the representation of both. If we see something perfect looking we want it thats the law of thhe universe. Normal girls wont EVER be those models and they shouldnt stop trying, but they should stop caring. Im not saying your perfect the way you are and be content with yourself, then let yourself go. NO that would be bad, but what i am saying is that most of you who complain especially my friends who complain. their all amazingly beautiful. on a realistic scale their high 7's 8's and one or two are even low 9's on their best days. Some of you reading this may think that a high 7 is a harsh rating but really its a good rating if you are putting a 10 as a perfect non model woman. Lets say carrie underwood is a 10 (american idol carrie) she wasnt airbrushed and all that when she auditioned but she was gorgeous. so a high 7 and up is beutiful. 7 flat being about good looking, has potential but not quite out there, 6 being better than ok attractive but not stand out beauty. and a 5 being just average. and 0 being ugliest person youve ever seen. (sounds bad but thats how a 10 point scale works.) Now that ive gotten a bit offtract lets sum up what ive said. Models are perfect but not real, my friends complain about their looks sometimes but are beautiful. Now The thing i dont get is that girls/ woman know that they look good but still dont trust it... they refuse to go out without makup even though when you ask them (and their wearing makeup) they say they could go without makup. Ive seen all my friends at least once without makeup. yes the zits are a bit more evident and their eyes arnt outlines with a little black line, but (this is just my oppinion) they look better without it. Now given somedays makeup is a good think. not for zits in particular if it can be covered up without being caked on then fine. But im talking more for the tired eyes. thats the only time i think a girl should wear makeup. If she has dark circles and can cover it up or if she didnt sleep well and has droopy eyelids. then use eye liner to lift those eye lids up thats fine.
So if any Girl is reading it. Your beautiful for the way you are (but still workout and try to better your appearence) Guys should do the same thing, although all the guys who might read this are already doing that. the way i cope is i say fine i look good (not great) but lets get bigger muscles, toner body. and at the same time have some wishes like i wish i was 4 inches taller. they wont come true but hay they keep us human. My friend brandi wishes she had longer legs wont happen but shes beautiful just the way she is and she works on her body every day. Nate built like a tank but still works on getting tone, getting his abs. Those are two examples of great people who are working to better they're looks and for the most part still confident (or at least know) they look good.
Last thing before i get off.
Things to take out of this long rant if it was hard to follow (probobly was)
1. Our personalities arnt set in stone, we can change them, it just takes alot of work to change your personality in diffrent situations.
2. Talking is the best way to build lasting relationships
3. Everyone is beautiful in their own right but should work to make themselves look better. Inner beauty only plays a role amoung unanimously attractive people (everyone agrees they look good) and later in life. (sad but true.) **remember a perfect 10 bitch wont stay with anyone but an ok atractive person with a great personality can have whoever she wants.
4. i didnt get to 4, But i got tired of writing, if you want to stay with a guy or get a guy. DONT BE CREEPY. creepy is catagorized as telling him he should wear short shorts while working out in the yard. If ive never met you and i hear that i dont WANT to meet you. and second creepy is also catagorized in telling someone you love them and their your everything within the first week of dating them or worse yet, first month of knowing them. talking about kids is also another big turn off. we will jump out of that relationship or get away from you as fastt as possible.
For Guys, Dont whistle at girls and treat them like a (parden the phrase) a piece of meat. Its fine to talk amoungst yourselfes that someone is good looking, but wait till their out of ear shot first. otherwise you just seem like a perverted pig, also dont whistle at a girl across a parking lot, whistling is fine if you know them and you want to tell them they look good. For example girl walks in the room dressed up. whistling would be appropriate. If you want to let a girl she looks nice and have no intention of going out with her just walk past her and tell her she looks nice. if you want to let her know and you are interested in her. tell her she looks nice and ask her for coffee or something. (this last bit of advice was brought to my attention while a girl was ranting about a guy whistling at her. yes guys i know its almost impossible to muster up the balls to actually do that, hell if i had nothing to lose i still dont think i could do that lol. but at the same time its a usefull piece of insight into a girls wants and i figured id share with anyone who decided to read this.)
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